Embrace your desires as if they were the most precious gold that you could imagine…your core desire is this reconnection with the love, and in the life that you are currently living that overriding desire then translates into how you direct your life.
Embrace Your Desires
An Hour with an Angel
Linda Dillon Channel for the Council of Love
Steve Beckow Host, InLight Radio
Steve Beckow: Good evening everyone and welcome to An Hour With An Angel. I’m Steve Beckow, founder and chief editor of the Golden Age of Gaia and with me today is Linda Dillon, channel for the Council of Love. And Linda, I’ve just received my Jesus Book and I’ve read the first chapter and I am enthralled.
Linda Dillon: Good. Wonderful! Yahoo!
SB: Yay! All that work and the final consumers are receiving the book. Can I read a passage to…um?
LD: Oh, absolutely. Please do.
SB: The reason that I’m reading this is that it addresses the question that I had and I’m just…it addresses the question that I had. The question is, we are going to the fifth dimension – we’re not going to the fifth dimension – but our consciousness is expanding until it connects with the fifth dimension – and, the scenery changes, etc. And, I assumed that we were going to a place where everything is already prepared. So I was asking myself, what are we to do? What is building Nova Earth really look like? And Jesus addresses that here; “You do not arrive in the fifth, sixth, or seventh dimensions with it all pre-constructed. This is not a pre-fab job. While there are many elements in place, there are also elements that will absolutely be missing as you leave behind the old paradigm of the third dimension. And, that is good news to all of us and certainly to all of you. Out of the dreaming comes what you are choosing to create and co-create. And the unity of your being, and the unity of the circle of what you wish to bring forward in terms of environment, in terms of buildings, situations, institutions, and ways of doing things.” That just addressed that large question perfectly! So, Linda, thank you very much for this book.
LD: You are so welcome! And even hearing you read it Steve, it brings an expansion to my heart and tears to my eyes because it really does feel that we are being spoken to directly about both about our individual plan and our individual questions, and the really big plan – the Divine Plan – and our bigger questions in terms of, well, how does this work? What does it look like? So, thank you.
SB: Ya. So, I am through chapter one and will probably be through the book in a couple of days. Now, today we have St. Germaine. I understand that he is interested in addressing the circumstance of desire. The biggest circumstance we all address in terms of drawing towards the Divine as opposed to drawing towards our own desire for pleasure or what have you. Before we go to St. Germaine, is there anything you wanted to say, Linda?
LD: No. I think you’ve said it. I think that St. Germaine has some very – for me, anyway, as I have been meditating on this for a couple of days – some surprising insights. And I don’t know why on earth I would ever be surprised because, you know, Archangel Michael on these shows, and other readings, has been encouraging us to really dream big. I mean, throughout the Jesus Book we are being encouraged to really dream big. And, the connection between our dreams and our desires and our creations is becoming – especially right now – more and more pivotal in terms of bringing forward into concrete action, like what we are doing. So, it’ll be very interesting to hear what he has to say. I guess I’ll listen afterwards (laughing).
SB: Yes, you get to listen to it afterward, very good. I imagine that he will also… I am going to predict that he is going to the reinterpret the Vedantic counsel, the Vedantic knowledge that all desires to be put away because; here we are on this new earth to play; as the Creator Race and as the Children of God. And, so I am very much interested in hearing what he is going to be saying.
LD: You know, so many of what we thought were solidified, ancient belief systems that we have been using as reference points, as constructs to proceed on our journey, have just been blown apart in the last couple of years.
SB: Yes, that’s right, yes. And that’s going to continue.
LD: Yes, it is. Get ready!
SB: I think that we were fleeing from our environment, you know, fleeing from our friends and families and being sadhus and renunciates. And we aren’t going to be fleeing from our environment anymore.
LD: We’re not only not fleeing, we are creating it, we are embracing it. We are it!
SB: So, that’s a huge change. Why don’t I let you make your adjustment…relax…
LD: Thank you.
SB: Yes, and whenever you are ready we will welcome St. Germaine.
St. Germaine: Greetings, I AM. How is that for a way to start?
SB: That is classic. Very good, thank you.
St. Germaine: I AM and you are and we are and I AM. Welcome. Yes, I am St. Germaine. And, I declare this – in the joy, the peace, the exuberance, the excitement, the wonder, the awe of existence – for when you take but the time, in any reality, in any dimension to simply declare your I AM Presence, you’re are not only claiming, you are anchoring, you are expanding, you are aligning with your Higher Self, your Universal Self, the I AM Presence. And, this, my beloved friend, brings you into the truth – not only the truth of who you are – but the truth.
And, yes there have been many detours, many misunderstandings. Or, let me be clear, there have been many understandings, what the channel has called constructs, situations, institutions, belief systems that were useful in your old realm. But as you evolve, ascend, become, inhabit your Nova Being, co-creating with us Nova Earth, then many of these earlier understandings shift, go by the wayside or are transformed and transmuted – might I say- into a different level of comprehension.
Let us begin this discussion today by my invitation to each and every one of you – lightworkers, Gaians, Terrans, hybrids everywhere, to embrace your desires as if they were the most precious gold that you could imagine; why they might even be amethyst! Now, what do I mean by this? You know – and we have all discussed with you – that your deepest, greatest, fullest purpose, inherent, individual and collective, is your journey back to the Mother/Father/One. Everything else is infill. But in that, in that extensive journey back to the One, back to the All, is this journey of discovery, of experience, of play and of being in form. The majestic experience whether you are king or pauper, serf or leader, it is all the same.
Part of your existence, part of how you journey back to the One, is through this cycle of being in form – through this journey of life as you would consider it. The desire, innate and conscious, to be in that alignment, to be on that expressway back to the heart of One, is within you. It is part and parcel of who you are – what you can think of as not only your spiritual DNA, but your literal DNA.
And, I want you to consider that, what I am saying. Your literal, biological, elevated, transmuted, lightbody, lightworker, loveholder self, is embedded with this desire to align, to connect, to journey back to the love. When you acknowledge, connect, anchor, implement and begin to live that desire, then you are truly on your way.
So often, I hear from so many of you, “Dearest St. Germaine, can you please tell me what my mission and purpose is?” And, this is sent, and asked and requested, from the purity, the sweetness, the tenderness and the love of who you are. So, I do not in anyway diminish what this question is. But, my beloved friends, when you truly acknowledge within your sacred self, that your mission and purpose – throughout time, throughout all space – is to return to the One, then everything else truly begins to fall into place. Now, when I say things fall into place, I am not indicating to you, or implying, that I am naïve enough to suggest that everything is easy – because it hasn’t been and it isn’t – although it can be much easier than some of you make it out to be. Now notice I say, make it out to be rather than it is…and we can talk about that in a bit.
But when you acknowledge that your core desire is this reconnection with the love, then what it does, is it allows you – gives you permission, encourages you, even slightly nudges you, supports you – to connect with every action, every thought, every emotion, everything that you are with that desire. And, in the life that you are currently living – because I do wish to be practical – that overriding desire then translates into how you direct your life.
When you dream – truly dream, not simply lust – you are aligning with that truth of who you are. Many of you have not fully – but you are beginning and that is part of what today’s conversation is about – you have not made the full connection between desire and determination and creation and action. You have not made the connection between desire, determination and will.
Now, desire, much like earlier conversations that we have had with you, has had a bad reputation because so often in your world – and we are talking about not just this culture or that culture, not just this belief system or that belief system – there has been an overriding belief system that desire is not positive. That desire is wrong. Think of when people talk about full passionate desire, wanton desire. So there has been negative overtones so much that you are yearning or lusting after something that is inappropriate and out of alignment with the truth of who you are. But, in fact, if you are truly aligned with divine desire, your core desire and taking that and implementing that as a direction, then really is what you are doing is bringing yourself into alignment, on that speedway, directly back home.
Desire has been implanted within your very soul design to give you very important, pertinent direction, information about how you – in this physical reality of being alive – want to direct your life. If you don’t want it, if you don’t truly, in the purest sense of the word, desire something, then why on earth would you even begin to pursue it or do it. Now when I am speaking in this way, I am not saying that the lesser energies – what we will term lower vibrations of desire – need to be listened or acted upon. But there are some very basic desires that do need to be adhered because they support you in this journey. ‘I desire food’ – not necessarily three squares a day – that is a very western thing. But, ‘I desire food, I desire water, I desire air. I desire shelter when necessary.’ All of these are very practical desires. Yes, but they are also desires that keep you in form so that you may truly align, pursue, live, claim, be the truth of who you are.
If you dig – and we have had earlier conversations – and yes, I know, there will be further discussion about core issues and vasanas – but if you have dug deep enough to at least begin to shred and shed the debris, then you are clear on what desire is and it does direct you. If you desire to be part of a group, for example, that works with the animal kingdom, that works with the elemental kingdom, that works with the mineral kingdom, that desire is information and direction divinely programmed into your being about how to proceed – what direction given the magnificent diversity of this planet. What desire does not do, what desire does not give you permission to do – ever – is to roll over others, to exert false authority, false control over another – to somehow believe that what you desire is more valid, more important than anybody else’s. Let us start there, dearest Steve, and proceed.
SB: Well, thank you St. Germaine. And, I would like to say a few words, if you’d allow me, to the listener, about…to contextualize what you just said.
St. Germaine: Yes!
SB: Okay. If the listeners would like to hear more of the discussion of this desire to return to the Father/Mother which is deeper than our spiritual DNA, as you pointed out, it is a soul implanted desire, then go to the Wiki, the first contact, well any of the Wiki’s, and enter “longing for liberation” (in quotation marks) into the search box. The fact that we have this homing beacon implanted in us and that, in trying to fill it with houses and yachts and trips and various other experiences and possessions, we always fall short. None of these ever satisfies because that desire is, in fact, for the divine. So, that discussion, if the listeners want to pursue that further and see what the various traditions have said about it, is there.
And the other thing that I wanted to posit with you, to suggest to you, St. Germaine – I’d like your comment on this – I see as the basic spiritual movement turning from the world – and these are very, you know, these are very plastic terms – turning from the world to God. Turning from our desire for more experiences of the senses and more possessions, what-have-you, to wanting to possess God, so to speak. Is that a correct statement?
St. Germaine: That is absolutely correct. Now, you know that I have walked the planet many times, and for long times, and I most certainly have lived and experienced many riches of all kinds. I understand the human history, the human detour, the way in which so many human beings deviated from this path of what I would call genuine desire – that desire for freedom and liberation – and became entrenched and enmeshed in the accouterment of the physical realm of riches. Yes, when you say houses and yachts and palaces and carriages and cars and power for power’s sake, that was a deviation – an aberration of your true self…and I am speaking to each and every one of you.
Now, I am not suggesting, as I have just said, that there is a basic desire for food and shelter and the basics, that are necessary. And, let me be very clear my friends, part of the delight of being an angel at play, part of being the Creator Race, part of the sweetness of having yellow or red, part of the sweetness of having tropical weather or arctic weather – this is part of the joy of being in form. But this level that evolved, of human greed, of false control, of acquisitiveness, just for the sake of having, was an aberration of the design of what was originally intended – of the Mother’s Plan. So that was never part, that was a human – might I even say miscreation. Now that is a very strong word, but I say it for purposes of emphasis not criticism, let me be clear about that.
Now, let me make a little aside. When, long ago I established my trust, my St. Germaine’s Trust – which you’ve all talked about ad nauseum – I did not bring that forth during that period of time because the mood, the patterns, the behaviors of the human collective at the time were in fact this very big obsession with possessions –obsession possession with the material realm. Now that is shifting. And to use your phraseology, dearest Steve, moving from this preoccupation with what you think of as the world, or the material realm, back to divine desire, divine pathway, divine alignment, divine love, divine will.
Now, I am going to complicate it. It seems that every time we are having these conversations, whether it is on Heavenly Blessings or on An Hour With An Angel, we are adding these elements that complicate a little. But let me do so anyway, you know how I love to tease you and make you think! So, at this juncture, in what you think of as the Creator Race, ascension, the creation of Nova Earth, the anchoring in higher dimensionality, we are encouraging, asking, supporting, nudging – you name it – you to direct and bring the entirety of your focus to your divine purpose, your heart’s desire – they are not different – to turn to the God Path, yes what Linda has called the Jesus Path – what Jesus has called the Jesus Path – and at the same time to be completely engaged and in and of this world. In and of this world in ways that have not been seen but heralded for a long time – but not been the status quo for a very, very, very long time.
Now is that time! So with the clarity of your desire, with that alignment, with sacred purpose in all its myriad of colors and rays, you are also taking that – the power, the infinite divine power of will and of love – and turning it, can we say, to the planet at hand; to the plan at hand, and anchoring into form what those desires, delights – D-lights – look like. And that will be families and friends and community. Yes, it is institutions, and societies and the bigger picture. But you know – and it is still true for me – when I walked the planet, and I am having visitations again, what was most dear to me was family and friends – that sense of tribe, that sense of community. Because when that is the nucleus and then becomes the subatomic practicality of what is being brought forth into physicality, all is in alignment. When you build from this place of love into the material world, into the everyday expressions of how you live, then that truly is heaven on earth, that really is the joy of being alive.
So, what do you desire, my beloveds? Do you desire to end hunger upon the planet? Do you desire to have a cabin in the woods with 20 of your closest friends? These are not incompatible.
The other thing that has gone awry so often with desire is the duality and polarity of the old third. So that sometimes you desired one thing and believed that you desired it firmly and completely. But it came down to you often feeling that you had to choose A or B or a neutrality ho-hum C – either/or. And, that is not the truth either of desire. You can create in a whole spectrum of ways.
Now you’ve had a saying – and it was prevalent in my day too – of ‘be careful what you ask for, be careful what you desire’ because that is one of the starting fundamental points of creation. So, that clarity of letting your heart explode in the truth of what you really want – not only to heal, not only to cure, not only to fix, but what is going to give you extraordinary, outrageous, exceptional joy? So to go back to my example of living in a cabin in the woods with 20 of your best friends may give you that extraordinary joy and taking steps to heal human hunger will also give you extraordinary joy. You don’t have to – please, be very clear about this – do not sacrifice. This is an old outworn, boring belief system. I do not mean sacrifice in terms of ‘oh I won’t have that piece of candy or cake. I will sacrifice this because I am being good.’ That is absurd, my friend. You do what is best for your body and your being.
What I mean is, do not believe, do not call back or re-implement the belief system that requires you – or you think requires you – to sacrifice what you truly desire and want for the collective good. If it is good for the collective, in the biggest sense, then it is good for you; if it is good for you and true to that divine desire, then it is good for the collective. There is a harmonious design. There is a harmonious tapestry where every millimeter of every thread is divine perfection and necessary.
So it has never been and it will never be about you sacrificing what your heart desires because you think it is what you are supposed to do. That is not reflective of true desire. Is this clear, my dear friend?
SB: It is and what you are saying is just setting off a state of explosion over here in me, St. Germaine. There is a passage in the Bible that talks about the Christ bending the knee before the Father and giving back to Him the whole world, so to speak. And for me that’s that last moment before the total reunion. Giving back all the world is giving back everything that the soul created or accumulated or saw or in any respect worked with.
Now that, to experience that moment is my desire, is my passion, is my heart’s strongest wish. And at the same time I am doing light work so I’ll be knee deep in numbers and dollars, whatever – I don’t know what the work will entail right now. It’s going to be very practical. So here I am, with a desire to see that – just as you said – see that hunger ends in the world, and a desire to merge with the One and it appears to be in conflict. And, I think there probably will be many lightworkers that will be in the same situation. What would you say to us considering this supposed dilemma that we appear to be in.
St. Germaine: And what a delightful dilemma. It is not, from my perspective, a dilemma. Think about what you have said, my friend. At the end of your journey – your big journey, we could call it “Steve’s Big Trip” – and you are holding this world to present back to the Father. Now you have choice. Would you like to present back to the Father in all that splendor something mediocre or would you like to present back something so golden, so beautiful, so filled with love and the expression of love that it truly represents that desire to be back in the love – to be back and reunited?
Well, it is beyond question. Of course you want that totality of the offering of “Steve’s Big Trip” to be the most splendid thing that you could ever even conceive of – and then some. None of you came – including myself, by the way – none of you came to live a mediocre life. Now there have been lifetimes, because of these detours from the truth of one desire, that have been horrific. And there have been some lifetimes that because you have been true to that desire have entailed brutality and mayhem and torture and starvation and illness and on and on. Well, who wants to give that to the Father? “Oh, I sacrificed a great deal. Yes, there was a great deal of bloodshed and yes, this entire world I am handing you is all bloody and it is filled with chaos but, please, let me back in.” No, of course not. You want it to be as full as possible. And, yes, part of that suffering will be reintegrated and transformed in ways that you do not even comprehend – in ways that I do not even fully comprehend.
But, part of that preparation, if you can think of all of your lifetimes as preparation for that moment, you want it to be as clean, as loving, as bright, as brilliant as possibly can. What can be more brilliant than being able to say – both to yourself and to the One – “I was a tiny piece of implementing, of anchoring, of bringing to fulfillment the Mother’s Dream.” Because I can assure you, my friends, the Mother’s Dream was never for people to go hungry, it was never for dirty water, it was never for mayhem and war.
So while I am asking, and telling, and inviting and supporting each of you to turn to the world with the cleanest and clearest of desires, that engagement in the world – yes, which at times may feel overwhelming and also tedious – you think, and this is a good thing, in terms of grand terms: Healing hunger. But when you are dealing with some of the practicalities it may feel frustrating, boring, tedious, aggravating, and that is why it is so important to keep returning – front and center – not only to your mission and purpose but your desire, your driving purpose, your core, so that you can attend in the world to what may feel at times minutiae.
But if that is approached with love, with grace, with clarity, with a keeping your eye on what is really being done then you are accomplishing, and fulfilling and experiencing why you are here because you are experiencing the love. So even when you sit in a room, let us be practical, and you are trying to figure out in terms of healing world hunger, transportation routes, planting schedules, distribution schedules – and there are thousands of people working on this and everybody has their piece and some are pulling out their hair because trains don’t run that way – keep coming back to who you are, to your heart’s desire about what you are really wanting to accomplish.
Now, in that it is important of course to keep your eye on what you wish to accomplish. But I also refer back to what I had said earlier which is ‘never does your desire have ascendency over another’s.’ That does not erase leadership, mentorship, stewardship – let me be clear about that…someone has to drive the bus. But, when you think of process of making sure that it is inclusive, and kind and loving and understanding and patient and prudent while practicing fortitude, all of these Divine Qualities will come into play and be tested. And that is why it is so important that that desire, will, determination and love be in clarity of alignment. Because there will be – I know, I have walked as man – there will be moments when the human transition is frustrating. Or when you say, “I am here to create a new planet. What the heck am I doing spending hours trying to figure out this minutiae?” And there is part of you that might say; “Well, you know, I’m comfortable, I’m okay, I’m taken care of. I’m going to just go on a trip somewhere and take it easy.” Well that, depending…and you thought I was going to say wrong, didn’t you?…depending on where you are at might be the best solution because it is not for your highest good to proceed feeling that you are burdened or doing the world a favor.
We have talked and talked and talked to you about balance and about the need in Nova Earth and Nova Being; work, play, family, health, staring at the wall, spiritual pursuit. It is not intended to be laborious. So, if the work is becoming a mountain of frustration turn away and come back refreshed. This Plan, this Dream of the Mother is already in unfoldment. A hiccup in time to breath, to align, to be in the love is not only necessary but desirable. So, you will live – sometimes it will feel like you are living in two worlds – but you live in the amalgam, in the harmonious reweaving of both worlds.
SB: St. Germaine, can I ask a question of you?
St. Germaine: Of course.
SB: Thank you. There are going to be people who turn to lightworker sources and become aware of what is happening in the world, and yet they may still have a very deep reaction to such words as the Mother’s Plan. They may be refugees, so-to-speak from the cabal’s plan and they may have fresh in their memory Hitler’s plan. And so many of the other large plans that have been around, Stalin’s plan -I could go on and on – have been corruptly based. And now they are hearing that they are to line up with the Mother’s Plan. And, what do you say to people who are coming with a – and obviously we cleanse ourselves from some of this – who come with these open wounds of having followed other plans and been, in their minds, betrayed?
St. Germaine: First and foremost you heal the wounds of war. When someone is lying on the ground bleeding, whether it is from a duel or the implementation of a false plan, an authoritarian regime – and in that let me be very clear, I include the plan of the old third dimension. But I also say to you, first you tend in your medical – do not forget I am a healing giant – so in your current medical systems you have systems whereby you decide if someone is needing urgent care or simply needs gentle tending or some TLC. Triage your populations. And you triage not by saying, “Oh, you want admission? Well, are you in alignment with the Mother’s Plan? Are you in alignment with the love?” That will never work! You deal with people, you embrace people, you heal people, you engage people in the unfoldment. Not from where you are, not from where you are comfortable, but from where they are. You do not talk to a kindergarten child about quantum physics. And that is to not naysay any being. But you must engage in loving ways; in behaviors that are reflective, not of your plan, but of where someone is at.
So if they are lying on the ground hungry and bleeding and beaten up then you do not begin at a place that will cause further injury or reactivity. You engage them with language – Saedor or even Perro – that allows that communication to truly begin. How those who have been either participants, perpetrators, or victims of these various plans – including the plan of the old third – how you engage them is by acknowledging them and healing them. How you really engage them is because you are kind and loving and considerate. You aren’t some Mullah saying; “You must adhere to my belief system or I don’t feed you.” That is not of love. Do I make myself clear?
SB: Yes, very clear. Yes, very clear. What is involved in healing…healing is a difficult matter. I can think that I have healed a core issue, for instance, vasanas – I’ve been through it a number of times – and then it comes up again. Or, some vasanas that are so deep within me come up and I had no idea they existed. I’ll give you an example: I lost a card the other day, a laundry card with a deposit in it, about $30.00, and I was quite upset. And when I really looked at it I saw that losing something, and being hit for losing it, was one of the earliest experiences that I had as a child; one of the earliest breaks in my view of the world as being idyllic. And so I don’t know how I can heal them, so-to-speak, of a belief, or the impact of a belief, or a vasanas. Do you know what I am saying?
St. Germaine: What you are doing, my friend, is developing new patterns. First of all, you – or anybody – does not heal anybody. You know that. You heal yourself. But, through the interaction that is kind and loving and considerate, you heal both parties. So when you…you do not have to say it out loud but let us use your example…There is someone on the ground bloodied and bleeding who has lost everything; they have lost their farm, they have lost their country, they have lost their children, they have lost their livelihood. I am talking about many refugees. The situation is tragic. Now you don’t say, “Oh, I know what loss feels like. I lost my laundry card.” But, you have a knowing, and that is the gift of the vasana, of what loss feels like. You know what it is to lose your mother. You know what it is to lose a friend. You know what it is to lose.
So you don’t say to the person, you don’t engage with the person of ‘let us wallow and stay in this place of pain’. We are not suggesting that grieving is not necessary, it is. But in the kindness of reaching out, in the kindness and love of knowing you are being reached out to, in that exchange of helpfulness – and it is a heart connection, it isn’t a money connection – it is a kind considerate act where two beings or a million beings come together and say, “This has been awful. This has been painful and tragic and an abomination.” But together – not with me telling you what to do, but supporting one another – because so often there is this subtle belief system that the healer will somehow direct the one being healed. And that is not so. There is a very equal and continuous exchange. So together you proceed. And you proceed in ways that are creating a new experience of what it means to be alive. And that new experience does not erase the memory of aberration. But what it does is align with what is true – the desire of all beings. And that has greater staying and sticking power, my friend. That is what heals.
SB: Just rephrase that for me again or amplify it. That the overarching, overall meaning of life, in other words the return to the One who we have departed from so-to-speak, heals. Did I get it right? Or, I think I missed something.
St. Germaine: In the coming together is the beginning of the healing. Simultaneous to that – because it is not fragmented, it is not chopped up like an onion – think of it more as layers of an unpeeled onion…as you progress from healing to companionship, to shared experiences, to shared love, to shared co-creation then you have the entirety of the creation. And it is not segmented or fragmented, it moves and there is an exchange so that it becomes a unified whole. So it isn’t ‘Now I am healing. Now I am healed. Now I am creating. Now I am bringing forth my divinity. Now I am love.’ No, that is not how it works. It is all integrated into one.
SB: I’m going to need to meditate on that. It is very rich what you said and it has to be flushed out, I think…for me anyways (laughing). So I will. And hopefully you’ll come back again and talk more about that, about this process of lightworkers…
St. Germaine: And meanwhile, take time, my beloveds, take time and go into your hearts and explore the variations on what you desire and embrace it, accept it, claim it as your own. And see what desires – what you termed desires- are not really in alignment with that; they are just temporal. They are just material and they really have nothing to do with that moment when you return the world to the Father.
SB: Thank you very much, St. Germaine. Very profound what you said. Thank you.
St. Germaine: You are so welcome. Go with my love. Farewell.
Channeled by Linda Dillon